


i wish you had told me (what i even meant to you)

by orphan_account



Category: The Hollow (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bi Kai (The Hollow), Brotp, Canon Gay Character, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay Adam (The Hollow), Gay Panic, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jealousy, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Beta We Die Like Skeet, Spoilers for Season 2, kai will go apeshit later on and i'm here for it, kainessa are just bros don't @ me, or Bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24169327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: lack of sleep affects the brain like alcohol. so kai technically had an excuse to send that voicemail. technically.but adam can see in kai's eyes that it wasn't just the sleep deprivation talking, and somehow that makes it hurt even more.orkai sends a voicemail at 3am, crying. adam doesn't know how to feel.
Relationships: Adam & Kai & Mira (The Hollow), Adam & Mira (The Hollow), Adam/Kai (The Hollow), Kai & Vanessa (The Hollow)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 192





	i wish you had told me (what i even meant to you)

_ you have (1) new voicemail. _

adam's phone vibrated harshly against his night stand, and adam felt the enveloping darkness of his room meet his eyes.

_ what...? _

groggily moving his eyes toward the night stand, adam winced under the harsh, bright light of his screen beaming at him, but reached out his hand to pick it up regardless. 

squinting down at it, he read the time, shocked.

_ 3.32AM _

who the hell would call him at  _ this _ time-

oh.

_ OH. _

adam felt himself start to panic, scrambling, and turned on his lamp with a soft  _ 'click'. _

the soft light glowed and danced across the walls as adam punched in his phone's password.

had the game glitched again? was something wrong? was everyone okay?

tapping on the notification tab, adam scrolled down, until finally reaching the voicemail one.

_ kai? _

it was.. it was kai. why would he call adam? 

~~_ wasn't he too busy with vanessa or something? _ ~~

tapping on the notification, adam felt around in the dark for a second, arm blindly grabbing for his earphones. placing them in his ears as he plugged them in, he heard the automated voice speak to him.

"you have  _ (1)  _ new message from  _ kai, from may 9th, left at 3.26AM,  _ duration  _ 4 minutes 3 seconds.  _ press  _ 1 _ to listen,  _ 2 _ to delete, and  _ 3 _ to save.

dazedly lifting his head off of his bed, adam felt himself slowly get up, walking towards his bedroom door. why would kai call him at 3am? and leave a 4 minute voicemail? maybe it was a mistake; a butt dial, or something.

twisting his cold doorknob under sweaty palms, adam debated to himself why he was so compelled to listen to it. i mean, it was 3am. every reasonable thing about this told him to just listen in the morning, but he  _ couldn't _ and he didn't know why. quietly walking down his creaky wooden stairs, adam beelined for the sink, filling up a glass of water (night water just  _ hit  _ different, okay?) and sat himself down at the table, his phone laying on it before him.

_ screw it. _

adam pressed  _ 1. _

the first thing he heard was a soft, gentle sigh, with a hint of something adam couldn't put his finger on.

"sorry for calling you this late. i just...couldn't stop thinking. and davis said something about "getting your feelings out"." kai paused, his voice wary, "so yeah, i've been thinking. about...about...this. the game."

kai spoke slowly, and adam could feel his own heart thud in his chest the further he listened. why was kai speaking so loud at  _ 3am? _ he would have woken up his parents, right? 

"...i'm surprised, i was going to ask something, but i remembered - you answered me back in that weird gnome's castle place, if you could call it an answer." he added a short, empty laugh that felt so strangled that adam didn't know if it was meant to be one, and adam felt himself fidget with his earphone cords. 

like clockwork, adam realised what this was about, the thought hitting him like a truck, and felt the storm of guilt about what he had said bubble in his throat.

"i… when you first asked me to be on your team-- it was...amazing; exhilarating to finally have someone… someone who treated me normally."

unable to sit still, adam clenched onto his phone, pushing his chair out from beneath him.

"someone who chose me, for me, you know? i've, uhh…" adam could practically hear kai's hesitation, "we're in the same year, right? i've seen you around before- nOt- not that i was watching you!! but you're hard not to notice..i mean, you're adam rivera - you sort of a have a rep, dude." 

pacing, adam paused in confusion at this. someone had...people talked about him? 

"when you and mira came to me, it was nice. yeah, it was nice that i thought you...you wanted my skills? so i said yes, of course," a crumpled laugh cut through his fumbling words, "and...and we won. in a manner of speaking, i mean, the real us? they're out there  _ somewhere _ . but. why did you pick me? you...you said...that it was because a place was available. and that was because of what happened with reeve, yeah, haha. but it's just…"

gripping tighter onto his phone, adam brushed a hand tentatively through his messy bed-head hair, feeling his throat clench at the thought. he picked kai because--

because...

"wh..why did you pick me? you know me. you've heard of me through school, i think. idontknow- i don't know what people say about me. you remember when we were lab partners that one year?" adam remembered it like it was yesterday. 

freshman year - he couldn't remember what it was on now, however kai isn't exactly someone you forget. putting the duo together was guaranteed to end in chaos, but kai had warmed up on him, with his bad dad jokes and endless gaming references and goofy grins  ~~ and how his freckles became more obvious when he smiled ~~ , and he had, no matter how hard adam wanted to crush that thought down at the time. they had spent half that time bickering, but they got good grades, so adam didn't mind it. kai wasn't exactly a friend more than a frenemy, but they were both fine with that - it was just the way things were.

"i annoyed you to hell and back, but we still got the work done - i talked to miss heathrow afterwards, and apparently we had the highest marks out of everyone in our class, which, haha, surprised me.

we made a good team."

that shouldn't have made his eyes sting.

"is that why? it felt like i was still annoying to you - what the fuck am i saying, you still find me annoying."

kai--

_ his eyes shouldn't be burning. _

"i… i was just a replacement, right? you don't have to lie. i know i talk too much. i know i'm annoying. I knew you didn't actually like me," kai's breath stutters, wavering, and adam feels like he's back in that ice castle all over again. "not many people do, so you're not alone on that one, haha."

grasping onto the front of his shirt like a lifeline, adam felt the emptiness in kai's voice echo through his body.

"it-it still hurts, y'know? it feels like shit. and now i'm stuck, back- back  _ here,  _ and that just makes me feel  **worse** , y'know!" kai lets out an almost manic, stuttering laugh, breathing sharply, his voice trembling.

"i just wished… you had told me. that it didn't matter. that learning to let go of the past meant letting go of  _ me,  _ too. that i meant nothing to you except a replacement for  _ reeve _ -

that...

that you actually didn't like me."

_ beeeeeeep. _

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for the hollow so any criticism is appreciated :) this will be updated, lockdown is KILLING me sjfkskf  
> in conclusion be gay do crime
> 
> my instagram: @kaidamsbitch / @thenperish1  
> my twitter: @kaidamsbitch


End file.
